she is my best friend, she is always there for me, whenever we get drunk she takes care of me and watches out for me like she is my mother, whenever im with gohar we have fun no matter what we are doing, i never trust anyone but i really know i can trust her. i love you to death gohar. we are mother fucking SOFU AND TOY bitch, haha without gohar my life would be so boring. i dont even know why we get along so well, its actaully kind of funny becuase we just randomly met i dont even remember exatly how. everytime i go on little adventures she is right there next to me. gohar seriously you are one of the sweetest and raddest girls i have ever met and i wouldnt trade you for anyone. its funny how fast we connected ive only known you for like a year. whnever i go somewhere and youre not with me its like im always telling whoever i am with that "i miss gohar" and everyone is always asking "wheres gohar" when they see me. its like you cant get ally without getting gohar too. and thats awesome. you are welcome at my house anytime you like and i will always be here for you. you can fucking come over without even telling me and just walk right in my house and eat all of our food if you want. i love how we just drive in my car and sing and dance the whole time and laugh everytime "slow motion" comes on because that means we are going to have a good day. and then when we are driving home from OC all late at night and you pass out, as soon as one of our songs come on your head like jets up and you start singing like you were awake the whole time. you lived at my house this whole weekend and now that youre not here and youre at home it seems like something is missing. haha seriously dude i would do anything for you. its funny how whenever we go to lestats everyone just watches us because they want us. so we go and stand on the corner and hold hands and hug and pretend were lesbians. haha we always make our appearances. there is not anyone i would rather take with me to OC. seriously i dont need a boyfriend or a guy or any of that shit, i only need my friends, meaning you gohar. we have so many memories and inside jokes its funny, and there are still thousands more to come. out of everyone i knew i never thaught you would be the one that i got closest to. its funny how we can just sit in a parking lot and just start talking about how what if guys man juices tasted like mexican candy.. AHAAHA. i love you girl and we are going to have a fun little adventure soon following the faint and shit. i will always be here for you.

so im chilling

im at my grannys and im about to head home because i am fucking exhausted and i didnt get any sleep this weekend
me and gohar are getting married
we finish each others sentences its hot

its funny how i get over guys fast now
i thaught i liked him but the other night was weird
it was fun, dont get me wrong
but it just made me see that i dont want to be WITH him
i guess id just rather be friends?
if even that...
i dont even know why i changed my mind
he was being sweet as usual
maybe i just am realizing i dont need to be with anyone to be happy
i can be single and have just as much fun
guys are just like a bother and shit, if any of you know what i mean
maybe im just jumping to conclusions
maybe i DO like him im just confused?
or maybe i just need to hang out with him one on one?
this whole dating and relationship thing is overrated
im just tired of it... thats what my problem is
its like the same thing over and over again no matter how much i think its going to be different
or maybe im just scared
scared because i know in the end someone always gets hurt
and lately im always the one getting hurt
maybe its because im finally opening up my heart to people
so they take me for granted
well sorry hun.... im not opening up my heart this time
im just shutting you out
and locking myself up
i dont feel like replaying the whole ruben and sam break up bullshit all over again
when i can just make things so much easier and kick you out of my life right now...
rather than waiting until you either cheat on me or decide youre just plain sick of me

sooooo... i guess im giving up and taking the easy way out....

this weekend.

what the fuuuuck.
okay friday.
people came over
went in the jacuzzi?
i fell out...
haha uhhhhhhhhhh
then yesterday went to see eriq and bryan
went to some chicks house.
drank more.

fuck all of you.


im so awesome you guys are all jealous

im not quite pimp... yet.
i know people that actually LIKE me
and now i know people that have crushes on me

and im a mind reader

so i know you like me too

im loved, im happy, im dope, youre ugly.

okay okay okay!!!

so mother fucking i have decided
i am going to marry sebastian cole.
he proposed last night and yeah hes my fiance now.
what a sexy hunk of man
hes mine now bitches
dont complain... just go cry.
i love sebastian cole. <3333333333333333333333333333333

anyways, on another note.
yesterday i spent the day huddled up in the corner of my room watching movies. it was dope. all the girlie movies.
im going to again tonight.
i feel the need to go rent the movie virgin suicides and watch it again.

so yeah fuck you all
im dope as fuck
you know... the usual shit....

tomorrow will be dope im going to get faaaaaded.
me and gohar will be danicng to the sounds and the B52s all night long
regardless of who else is there i know i will have fun

oh yeah and once again fuck you all

sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole sebastian cole

dont fight it bitches, just accept the truth..

soooooooooooooooooo fucking

like okay.
yesterday was the cure.. fun times
monday me and ryan got faded in my room
friday everyone is getting shit faced at my house.
i have the house to myself this weekend
i just want to go to ontario on saturday
with gohar
and we will have fun with eriq bryan and that guy gohar has a crush on
dope as fuck
shitfaced weekend... here i come

too bad its only wednesday
life is getting more exciting
tonight im either hanging out with ryan
or justin

asian or alcohol?
hahhahahah ryan is dope
so is my new jacket.

fuck you allllll wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


shit son.
im mother fucking dope.
today was all this shit from the past wtf
like i saw people i hadent seen
called people i shouldnt have
got calls from people i never thaught would call
haha all i did was turn in applications
then got two CDs: B52s and the sounds
then got gohar
then made fucking vegan mexican food mmmm
yeah we are going to have our vegan bbq soon
youre only invited if i tell you personally.
becuase its going to be dope like that.
me and gohar danced in my room today
i talked to ryan too ive been in such a good mood
sometimes im just angry and vicious and i take it out on him
when i shouldnt because hes dope..
im glad he lives with me
then when ruben called i was like WHAT THE FUUUUUCK
talking about voices from the past and shit.. hahaha...
well at least everything is cleared up no bullshit and shit.
i feel the need to like go home
and get a buzz
and smile
and laugh and dance then try to read my book then drink peppermint tea
talk to eriq then go to sleep
funny becuase thats what im saying i WANT TO DO
and i know thats exactly what im GOING TO DO.
i remember when me ryan gohar and ruben and everyone used to hang out
we havent in a long time
its lame how we all let somehting fucking STUPID like... me and rubens past.. get in the way.
friends are friends and im here for anyone thats willing to be there for me too.
so fucking.. uh... yeah
hahaha me and sams song came on
99 red ballooooooooooooons... what the fuck
fucking idiot dip shit motherfuck brown.. chicken of the sea.
i called and left the song on his message machine
he will never call back though, i know it
hes so predictable.
i dont care... if someone isnt going to be there for me i say...
FUCK THEM i only need the people that actually matter
the real friends
i need gohar.
and fucking x vegan x people
fuck gohar! no one understands us!!!

i guess i just want to say
that to anyone out there.... reading this....
even if shit has happened between us in the past
even if its the worst shit in the world
i dont hold grudges... you can come to me
just pretend nothing ever happened
any of you are welcome to be my friend.. and i will be a good friend back to you
say i havent talked to you in months due to.. well anything that might have happened
you could randomly call me in like a week if you needed someone to talk to...
and i will be there for you guys... regardless of who you are
what you did
what i did
what happened between us
give me a call you guys.. i really mean it.
619 890 3915
even if i dont know you guys well if you ever need someone to like pick you up because youre drunk.. or someone to talk to because you just had your heart broken... or if youre just bored...
im here.
remember that.
im here.
xxx chicken of the sea xxx


so like yesterday me and goharie went to go see the moving units at the glasshouse
i had so much fucking fun
we hung out with eriq and maat and everyone before
and haha...
and then like yeah fucking i danced the night away mea nd gohar were dancing up a storm
fucking i was all dancing with eriq
and random ass asian guys
i had so much fun
haha me and eriq slow danced were DOPE
i dont know hes not vegan enough huh gohar?
dang and gohar i cant really hang out with you anymore... i think we need to breakup.. youre too dancey for me... you listen to indie
dang eriq has the softest lips i swear
his lips feel like gohars hahahaha
not quite angel status.... but still
i didnt want to leave, but it was like 4 AM and we were sitting in front of eriqs house and we decided it was time to leave
but we were saying goodbye for a long time
and i was cold
and he gave me his jacket
it was the sweetest i love guys like that
i mean he was fucking freezing and he still gave me his jacket
eriq is my sweetheart<33

im sitting at gohars house

and mother fucking wishing i had something to do
who wants to hang out and tear shit up
shes going salsa dancing
so i need to find soemthing to do
maybe ill cut and dye my hair and chop it all off
or i could just blast dance disaster movement and dance around my empty house
and clean my room
okie dokie

someone call my cell